Ally Bain
By seeing my name, you might have guessed ALB on the logo is I. I'm aware that some people, who we've written to but not met, think I'm a lady. Well, if the picture doesn't give it away then my full name is Alistair Lawrence Bain. Needless to say, from a young age I preferred Ally.
Born on the 4th May '63 in Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, England, & living in Buckingham until 1981, many people think I'm English. No way!
My Dad is a Scot & up until the WWII, he lived in Edinburgh. When I was young, my parents & Chris, my next eldest brother, were in a car & on the radio we were listening to Scotland playing football against England. I can't remember how it started but I became aware of my Dad's nationality. From that day on, I classed myself as a Scot, which was based on my respect to my Dad. If any of you think I can't call myself a Scot, you don't know the legal side of it! In relation to my three brothers, Mike, Pete & Chris, they class themselves as English & in any case I take the bung when England lose to Scotland & hide when it goes the other way. One thing for sure, the last time the two played, Scotland beat England 1-0 at Wembley. Needless to say, I'm not prepared to say the game played a few days prior to it, which was played at Hampden Park, Glasgow. As some of you may know, there are many Clans in Scotland & the Clan that the Bain family was & still is in, is MacKay. If you're able to see the pictures, the tartan is shown as well as the badge.
During my time at school, I'd no idea about the nature of my career; all I was interested in was sport. The main sport was football even though in the grammar school I went to, we had to play rugby which was fine. Other sports at school, which I enjoyed, were canoeing, cross country running & table tennis. The others were fine but these listed are the ones I can remember.
Going back to football, the team I support is Leeds United. Many people have odd reasons as to why they support certain teams & mine can be one of them. I can't remember the day I watched, on a portable TV, Leeds Utd Vs Manchester Utd but what I can recall is that it was between the '70 World Cup Final in which Brazil beat Italy & the '71 FA Cup Final where Arsenal beat Liverpool. Before saying the reason behind Leeds Vs Man Utd, the first time I had seen football on TV was in the news which showed the goals scored in the World Cup. The first live game I watched was the '71 FA Cup Final but by then I did support Leeds. As for why I support Leeds was based on more Scots played for Leeds than Man Utd & also my lucky number is 4 & the late Billy Bremner shirt number was 4.
Watching the '71 FA Cup Final was great as Leeds beat Arsenal 1-0 however '72 was a nightmare with Sunderland beating Leeds 1-0 & Sunderland were one league below Leeds.
As for other teams I keep a close eye on the scores from Heart of Midlothian & Gillingham. In fact, I took Graeme to see Gillingham play at one of the last games to be played at Wembley before it was re-designed.
Moving away from football & onto education, for a year I went to Aylesbury College & one of the lessons was Computer Studies. Pete, being 18 years older than me, career was in computing & Chris, 5 years older, started working with British Leyland & was into computing. I saw they were happy with their careers & decided to work in that environment. In '81, I left home & moved to Chelmsford, Essex, to work with Marconi Radar, which was the same company Pete worked with.
I was there for 6 years & during that time I realised it was not my career. One good part was many people I worked with played football, squash & Diplomacy & hence they were played.
Being made redundant, I looked into a sales career & became a Financial Advisor with the office being in Maidstone, Kent. As I was working in Kent, I met a number of colleagues who became friends. One of the friends, Giles Day, suggested I went to a party in Ashford, Kent. At the party I met Dee, who became my wife & the pair of us lived in Ashford. Our marriage didn't last & we were divorced in '93 but during it we had a son whose name you can guess, Graeme! Due to our divorce, in '94 Graeme moved with his Mum to Faversham, Kent. She re-married & now the three of them live in Whitstable, Kent.
Various new laws, based on finance, were introduced & together with a recession, I decided to move into something else. Fortunately a friend called Ian Smith, who I knew from Chelmsford, was involved with domestic security alarms & on discussions, I moved into that industry. The job was fine but the money wasn't brilliant.
Knowing I was selling security products a good friend of mine, Paul Main, suggested I sold Closed Circuit Television (CCTV). I did & after a while I found out that CCTV was more interesting & lucrative. The other security products were stopped & I joined ClearView Communications, where Paul has & still is a Director. The clients were mainly the UK Police Forces together with some Borough Councils.
Due to Graeme becoming 5 years old & ClearView based in Chelmsford, I decided to move back to the town. If you're wondering about Graeme's age, it meant that picking him up in Faversham & driving him to Chelmsford was fine given his age. If he were younger, I wouldn't have moved to Chelmsford. For those who are unaware of the distance between Faversham & Chelmsford, it's roughly 70 miles.
Being back in Chelmsford was great, as I knew more friends there than in Kent & booze ups happened more frequently. At a nightclub I met Jane & after a while we got engaged & lived together. We were planning to be married however due mainly to do with her family; we decided to call it quits. Sadly I left my aquarium there however needless to say; I've now got a few tanks.
In January '99 Dave Scott, a good mate, took me to a Modern Jive lesson. I enjoyed going & met many people. The job with ClearView was going well, I was meeting people through dancing which made a great social life & to top it all, there was Graeme.
Perhaps the main parts of my life bar Graeme, happened in July '99.
In the early hours, I woke up & thought I was in hospital sleeping on seats & in my clothes. Whilst trying to think about it, I recalled images that appeared to be Xmas Eve & Xmas Day. I checked for my car keys & mobile ‘phone but couldn't find them. It didn’t take long before I fell asleep again but a few hours later, I woke up & found I was in hospital but in a bed & in hospital pyjamas. Needless to say, I wasn’t happy!
I was moved from one ward to another & regularly thinking, 'What the hell am I doing here'?
Later on, I saw my Mum walking towards me & even though she was smiling, the thought I had was, 'What the hell is she going to be say'? No question or comments were said by her!
On the same day Mike & Carol, his wife, popped in & looking at them, I assumed they had been to an exhibition & decided to see me afterwards. The phrase I once heard about was that to assume is to make an ASS out of yoU & ME. How right that is!
Somewhere through that day, I found out I was in Oldchurch Hospital in Romford, Essex.
A couple of days later, I was told I would be going back to Chelmsford. Needless to say, I thought it was home but it wasn't until we arrived in Chelmsford, that I realised I was being taken to Broomfield Hospital just outside Chelmsford.
That evening I saw Pete, Alwyn & Rachel, respectively his wife & their daughter. Late at night, I was watching the TV & it seemed to be Newsnight, a BBC program. The clothes of the presenters were casual & they were talking about space. I again figured it must be between Xmas Day & New Year.
A couple of days later, I was told I would be going back to Chelmsford. I thought it meant that I was going home but it wasn't until we arrived in Chelmsford, that I realised I was being taken to Broomfield Hospital which is just outside Chelmsford.
It took about a month to find out what had happened. On the 3rd July, a friend, Dave Betts, & I went to various pubs & onto a nightclub. When we left, we're talking to ladies & a bloke came over & asked for a light. Apparently he was swearing & one of the ladies asked him to stop. His swearing continued, which upset the lady & due to this, the bloke & I had an argument. I told him to stop swearing but he continuing to do it. Soon he hit me in the face & I fell back onto the pavement & passed out.
I was taken to Broomfield Hospital but on Sunday, two days after the assault, they found out I had a haemorrhage & was moved to Oldchurch Hospital, as they're involved with brain operations.
That night I had an operation, haematoma, however during it the surgeon found part of my front left lobe had died. My parents were taken to the hospital by Mike & due to the surgeons speaking to my folks, they agreed for another operation, partial lobotomy. After the two operations, there was a good chance of me dying but as I'm typing this, I beat it!
I was in a coma for roughly eight days & post-traumatic amnesia for another eight days. An hour or two prior to the assault I had retrograde amnesia.
To give you an impression as to how the assault affected me, I was unable to do the following:
- Read
- Write
- Speech
- Memory
Two months after the assault I tried to read a book that I had bought for Graeme when he was 4 years old. The first word was 'fox' & it took me about a week to be able to read & say it. Memory comes under two sections, short & long-term memory. The only one that affected me was short term. Short term last for a small handful of seconds & to give you an example, I was unable to remember people names once told. My trick to get out of it was to give them nicknames. My humour isn't always the same as others, so the nicknames, which they were told, were very sarcastic. Perhaps the only reason I'm living with Sally is that I can’t forget that. All joking aside one other aspect happened. For a while I was unable to call my son his name. Even though I thought I said it I called him Chris & I only found out from Dee telling me.
One thing went in my favour, I had to wear glasses but for some reason, perhaps the Occipital Lobe at the back of the brain, I don't any more. One of the other pleasant things was my brother Chris, who lives in New Jersey, USA, came to see me. Together with Mike went to my parents & then on to the Greenwich Museum, London.
I was in Broomfield Hospital for just under six months but then I went on a course at Olivier Zangwill Rehabilitation Centre at Princess of Wales Hospital in Ely, Cambridgeshire. The course lasted twenty weeks & during that time, they were able to re-teach me.
My general view is that you can do anything as long as you try. One of the ladies, Suzanne, who was teaching me reading, writing & speaking, told me that I’ll never get back to where I was before. Even though I thought she would be wrong, I'm afraid to say she's right. Even if you're surprised, Sally & others I know are proof reading this for me. Obviously I thank those doing it!
After six months of being ill, ClearView terminated my contract however when I was back into the swing of working, they asked me to rejoin. As I was on commission only but knew that another employer has unlikely to employ me, I did go back. I stayed with them for a year but due to the nature of those that we were selling to; the orders didn't come through quickly, which was half-expected. With the year I was with them, my languages skills increased therefore I thank those there for taking me on-board.
Another aspect of me trying to increase my language skills was buying a PC. 'Word' with its dictionary has helped but more importantly I found, the Internet, Diplomacy sites.
Many of you think it was a nightmare however to me it was Graeme & his feelings. Six weeks prior to me being assaulted, his Grandpa, his Mum's Dad, died. About two months after my assault, his Mum had to go for an operation. How he came through that, I've no idea!
As for the bloke who assaulted me he said, in court, he was guilty & was sentenced to 21 months in prison.
As said before, Graeme was the most important person to me but for those who have helped me, including him, my family, National Health Service (NHS), friends, etc, I thank you all, without you, things would be very difficult!
Some of you might be thinking that I used a passed tense not present tense when I wrote, Graeme was the most important person to me not Graeme is…. He still is but so to be my fiancée, Sally.
Sally & a couple of her friends decided to go jiving in 2000. We got on very well & in the next year we started going out with each other. In March 2005 I proposed & she agreed. In June that year I moved from living in Gt Baddow, Essex to her home near Sudbury, Suffolk.
So ending this auto-biog I have to say the phase I often say which is it's not over until the fat lady whistles!
If you haven't figured that acting phase & why I said it; if I've been able to come through those operations & subsequent difficulties however am happily engaged & enjoying life, then surely anyone can do the same thing by not giving up.
As I'm sure you can guess the auto-biog is partly out-of-date so to let you know, Sally & I got married on 8th August 2007 & currently extensions to the home are still in progress. As for work, I'm a multi-drop delivery driver with the vehicle being a 7.5 ton lorry. In 2006 I gave up smoking & to keep fit I started running long-distances & in Oct of that year, I ran the Dublin Marathon. Sadly the muscles in my right leg caused a few problems & I was off work for 4 months. To add to that, last year (2008), I tore my right ligament, alongside the knee-cap, & was off for another 4 months. In short, I haven't been back to training but hopefully this year it will start again. In Jan 2007 I finally got the postcards I've collected into albums & at the current time I've got just over 2 000. I started collecting them when I was working for Marconi Radar.
Details about hobbies can be seen on this site & below you'll see a linked button to them.
Site Links
NB If you do e-mail, notice I've changed @ to AT to stop possible e-mail spammers so before you send, swap it back.
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